Bethenny Frankel's Tips on Feeling Slim and Sexy

She’s wrapped up another season of her Bravo hit, Bethenny Ever After; has published her first novel, Skinnydipping; and has launched a talk show produced with Ellen DeGeneres, but Frankel made time to dish out words of wisdom on how we can all get the body, love and shoes we deserve!

Eat good stuff

“I used to starve, then binge, and I was 25 pounds heavier. I tried every diet from Beverly Hills to South Beach. Any diet that says to limit eating watermelon but processed protein bars are good means we’ve become stupid. Now I eat what I crave and make sure I’m having a balanced variety.”

Realize there is no perfect.

“I’m confident because I know there is no ‘right’ way of doing things. So I stay in my own lane and do what I do. The more you see that your ideas work, the stronger you’ll feel.”

Cry if you want to.

“Martha Stewart told me that women in business don’t cry. I say crying’s fine as long as you’re doing your job. And obviously, when you’re the boss, do whatever the hell you want!”

Avoid fashion don’ts.

“Never wear culottes, balloon pants or acid wash. Or any outfit with more than one animal print.”

Send thank-you cards.

“It’s about networking. I’ve always been a connector and someone who hustles. I got on The Real Housewives by going to a polo match in the Hamptons, where I met the producers. I’d rather be shot than go to one now, but I cherish the RH experience.”

Don’t go into debt.

“I was anxious about money but still spent too much on dumb things. At one point, I owed like $20,000. It was suffocating.”

Fight smarter.

“People say, ‘Just communicate.’ That’s kind of BS. To have a strong relationship, you have to argue in a healthy way. Sometimes, you’ve got to back down. Don’t escalate things, and don’t bring up unrelated stuff.”

Be authentic.

“Power is not how bold you are or how much you say. It’s about being true to yourself. Be the person you believe you are.”

Have your makeup done right.

“Before I could afford a pro, I’d go to the department store counter. The first time, the girl threw attitude and was like, ‘Um, you have to buy two items.’ I said, ‘Slow down, piranha. I plan to, and I’ll tip you, too, so do my face.’ It cost $50 and was worth it!”

Look hot for less.

“If you’re fit, you don’t need to buy expensive clothes. But don’t skimp on the essentials, like a really good bag and shoes. You can go cheap on costume jewelry, scarves and belts.”

Gelato rules.

“Years ago, on a trip to Italy, I decided that I wasn’t going to diet. I was going to try everything and still fit into my jeans when I got back. So I had the gelato and pastry and pasta and wine, but I stuck to small, reasonable portions. It was really revolutionary for me.”

Find your sex sweet spot.

“Like Nike says, Just Do It! Figure out the pattern that works for both of you. I’m tired at night, but I’m in a ‘place of yes’ in the morning if I wake up before Bryn does. Jason loves it anytime, any way he can get it, so he’s happy whenever.”

Get real.

“I’m happiest when it’s just us, like when I’m on the floor with Jason and the baby, making a tent with blankets. Right now, I’m looking for some peace. I’m not really sure what I’m doing anymore with reality TV. I experienced a miscarriage on TV. I didn’t need that.”

Don’t take no for an answer.

“People have said no to all my ideas along the way. No to my first book, which turned out to be a best seller. No to my Skinnygirl Cocktails. Never assume that anyone is smarter than you are. Trust your gut, and keep it simple.”

Do the plank pose.

“It’s the best for getting flat abs. I do yoga two or three days a week for myself and for my state of mind. I’m not all caught up in my body anymore. How often am I strutting around naked? I exercise to get the kinks out, to feel healthy and to keep things not jiggly.”

Wear lingerie on date nights.

“Or on special occasions. I can’t always be a minx—I need to support my breasts. And I’m not comfortable in underwear that’s like dental floss.”

Radiate sexiness from within.

“It’s definitely not about being the skinniest woman in the room. That’s not as sexy as looking like Sofía Vergara, Christina Hendricks, Jennifer Hudson or anyone else who is rockin’ her curves. People are attracted to confidence.”

By Erin B 07/16/2012 10:19:00